This week has been the most emotional draining surprisingly joyous weeks of my life.
Death is going to comeover all of us one day. But this one I didnt even think about happening. (but who really plans those things out). My friend of many years lost her father suddenly of natural causes I think it hurt the most because he was my dads age. I was heartbroken for her and it immediately flashed me back to the years where I had no responsibilities and going over to her house and spending countless weekends over enjoying life and all of its innocence and hearing awesome stories told by his father. Going to his funeral and seeing how shaken up she really was made me realize how important it is to cherish the moments and live life and love like its the last time you will see them. Of course you already know these things but it doesnt hit till you see someone is actually gone.
Then at the other broadness of the spectrum I felt so much joy this weekend. My boyfriend is literally my world and it brings me nothing but a smiles on my face to talk about him. My 18 months with him have been at sometimes insanely hard but also very rewarding when you just get each other. Sundays are dedicated to going over to his house and chilling out and just no time limits or places to be. To be in the arms of someone who loves you and you love them is the most insane crazy feeling life can bring you. I cant put enough words in to describe the feeling you just need to find it on your own. Cuddles and kisses just make life complete and such a simply lazy Sunday but such a meaningful and beautiful day. Even as much as i hate grocery shopping when he comes up from behind me and gives me a huge bear hug. life is good.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5, NIV).
Are you facing a situation that seems like it has no logical solution? Sometimes we have to turn our minds off, stop trying to figure it all out, and stop overanalyzing and researching everything. When you don’t see the answer in the natural realm, it’s time to stop leaning on your own understanding and choose to trust God.
Sometimes our minds can be a distraction to our “inner sensor.” Our minds can allow fear and dread to distract us from what God is speaking to our hearts. That’s why the Scripture says that we aren’t to lean on our own understanding. We have to take time to shut off the distractions, shut off fear, and listen to what’s going on inside of us where God speaks. That’s where faith rises up. That’s where all of the sudden you’ll feel a spark of hope even when things look impossible.
Today, no matter what it looks like in the natural, choose to lean on Him. Trust that He has favor in store for your future. Trust that something good is about to happen. As you lean on Him with your mind, soul and strength, you’ll see His goodness and break through to new levels in every area of your life!
I am so grateful that God was gracious enough to send me exactly what I prayed for. I prayed for not the perfect man but someone I could grow with even if tears had to be apart of it. I asked for a man who knows he isn’t perfect but he is perfect to me no matter what may come our way. I cherish every moment. But I treasure when walls are torn and I feel even closer to the one I love with every fiber in me. Tim is a beautiful mess. He is handsome, talented, hardworking, funny, caring man. But oh the times I have held him close and prayed for him those bless me tremendously. The times he breaks down i see renewal in his eyes. I’m so in love. I’m so blessed. I’m so GRATEFUL because when God created Tim he had me in mind.
I met the love of my life 15 months ago. This has been a long journey and yet I feel like I didn’t start living life till he came into mine. We have had many dates, we had many makeouts and cuddle sessions. Too many pizzas and way to many nachos all the way. We have cussed at each other and had huge disagreements. We have cried together and prayed and had far too many selfies together. He has built me up and encouraged me. Tells me he loves me and I am beautiful any time he gets. If I could rewind to the day I met him I wouldn’t change one thing about it. When we struggle we struggle together my love for him is that kind of love you read in novels and wish for.